I really have no idea what I want to do with my life. I've gone from wanting to be a News Anchor, a History teacher, Graphic Designer, someone who works in Marketing (what are they even called?), and now I'm onto Public Relations. I thought this would be really awesome because I love to talk. I also love being able to persuade people.
So today as I was trying to write my paper, I got distracted by looking up possible internships with Disney. They even have a PR Co-Op for this next summer (which I won't do since I won't have ANY PR classes til this next semester), but I have hope for 2011. However my hopes were dashed when I learned someone else was equally as excited about that chance, someone who is and will probably always be better than me at this. So of course I let that person get in front of me in my mind.
This has happened with my dream of being a photographer, a Broadway singer, and a writer. There is always someone better than me, so I shouldn't even try. I shouldn't even try for that internship because there is going to be someone better versed, more colloquial, and more attractive than I am, and he or she WILL get what I'm aiming for.
I let this battle in my head start and end without any effort on my part. I will never be good enough for the positions I want in life, so I should just resign to what comes easily.
I stopped my brain today and realized that I HAVE to figure out what I'm willing to fight for. Otherwise I will be stuck working at McDonald's for the rest of my life. So is that photography? Singing? Public Relationing? I have no idea. I wish someone could tell me what I'm best at and let me figure out a way to shine at it.
1 remarks:
I feel the same way and I've graduated! I didn't excel in my major the way I hoped I would, I don't have a job and I keep thinking, "What if I had majored in this or that instead?"
But here's what I know... that I felt like I was in the right major at the time. That I learned a lot in my classes for my major (TV Production) and my two minors (psychology and marketing). I know I'm not the only one whose having a hard time finding a job these days. I know I love to write so I'm trying to do that now while I have the time. I know God is in control. I have no idea how my future is going to play out and what I'm actually going to do, but I believe God has a plan.
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