it'll be the hardest winter without you.

I love to write. But my problem that by the time I make it to a computer my thought process is shot. I was given the idea to write about my oh so hilarious love life, though it doesn't seem very hilarious while I'm living it. Or perhaps I just want to be able to write a blog everyday about something, in the hopes that it will make me a better writer.

I'll have something in the fall, but what about now?

So I'll start with this. I made one of the hardest decisions this past weekend to slightly end my long term relationship with Rob. And by slightly end, I mean get used to not being together everyday. But the inital break happened because of lots of things: unsaid things that just bubbled over, then I realized that my relationship with God has faltered greatly and I've got to get that back, and finally we really need to get used to being apart for three months. I was never going to be able to do that cold turkey, and maybe now this fall will be a little easier on us.

I guess I said all that to answer any questions... though I'm not sure anyone noticed on Facebook anyway. ha

Lately I've wanted to become more crafty. I have this urge to go to Hobby Lobby and buy some wooden letters for Kelcy and I for our dorm room in the spring and paint them. Or make cute little canvas pictures with bible verses. I am wondering what that would cost...

Yesterday I went through my bookshelf and cleaned out everything that I no longer read or stuff I didn't like or just stuff from middle school that I still had lying around. I came across every single notebook I ever kept with friends, and a few diaries I had started and like everything else I start quickly quit. I found one diary in particular that I had a really great laugh at. In every entry I said something to the effect of "I just realized how much I want a boyfriend." Seriously. Every. Single. Time. Like it was a new revelation or something. We were so silly in our younger years, everything so difficult in our puberty. There were several boys mentioned that I had a crush on, with silly descriptions of what I liked about them, and just thinking about what became of those guys and what became of our friendship and how screwed up some of them are, and I thanked God that nothing ever happened with them.

But it's interesting who I did end up going out with in my formative years. Some of them were definitely not the right choices, and I question whether I really liked them or if I just went out with them because I was desperate for that kind of attention. It took me 18 years to find someone who was worth my time, and I'm not sure I would've changed that. I may have thought I was ready and maybe I would've been had it happened, but so many things wouldn't have happened for me if I had been dating someone. So yes mother, everything worked out ok.

I just realized I forgot to write an update on how the allergist went. He basically told me everything I already knew, but had to do one of those skin tests anyway. Lets just say that it was not the most comfortable thing in the world. 10 plastic little needles stuck in your back at the same time is pretty gross, and when you are allergic to 8 out of the 10, it gets pretty itchy. The result was that I was in fact allergic to many nuts, including coconut and hazelnut, but not pecan or cashews. Which is good because I adore cashews. But maybe I just love those particular nuts because they don't make me feel sick. And because I'm so allergic to several nuts the doctor deemed it necessary for me to have an epi-pen. Yes indeedy. An EPIPEN. I never thought in all my years that I would require an epipen to live. And thus have to carry it around. But I can't stand having one on me, so I don't carry it. Yes I'm a bad person. So I guess I deserve it if I die. Ha.

I can't decide if I'm ready for school to start or not. I'm ready to see friends, but not ready for classes to begin. I'm ready to just go to Vienna and not have to worry about whether I'm moving in for two weeks or commuting every day.

I should start a list of all the books I've read this summer and give them critique.
Maybe starting with the most recent.

-The Host by Stephenie Meyer- very boring. Maybe I'm not into it yet, but I should be 150 pages in right? Not as captivating as Twilight fo sho.

-Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers- LOVE this book. I feel like every girl (Christian or not) should read this. Several people have told me that they want a guy like Michael Hosea, but I really feel like this book is more to remind us that God will always come and find us if we stray and even more when it's on purpose. Or if we stray because it's better for others, but in the end the right person finds us to bring us back to Him again. Not the best written, but definitely challenging and sweet.

-Airhead & Being Nikki, Queen of Babble Gets Hitched all by Meg Cabot- what can I say? This has been the summer of Meg Cabot. I love her and her books even if they are pretty predictable.

-Looking for Alaska by John Green- John Green is pretty predictable as well. Though he's got the guy's side of things down. All his books follow a pattern with a slight change, but they are witty and wise and I thoroughly enjoy them. Though An Abundance of Katherines is still my favorite.

-Blame It on Paris- by Jennifer something- This was a pretty cute romance novel, would never happen, but when do romance novels ever?

-The Perfect Fit by Louise Kean- What a silly book. It was a very quick read, but still silly silly silly. She didn't even paint the main guy you were supposed to like in a good light. He was a fat mean guy. What girl wants that? Good thing I got it for free from Book 'em and then sold it for profit last night at Hastings. woo!

-Harry Potter 6 & 7 by JK Rowling- still arguably the best two Harry Potters in the series, I got through them so quickly and still enjoyed them more than ever. I hadn't read Deathly Hallows since the day it came out and really enjoyed going back through it in a more concious state. It made me want the movies to come out, like now.

-The Vienna guidbook- sorry, but I HAVE been poring through it at a breakneck speed, highlighting every single thing I want to go to. So Bethany and Mar you better be prepared to do something every single afternoon. :)

-Alphabet Weekends by Elizabeth Noble- SUCH a cute novel. Definitely worth the $2.50 I paid for it at Rhino books. If a man was ever going to try devilishly hard to get me to date him, I would recommend he try and do this for me. ;)

That's all I can remember right now, but I'm pretty proud of myself for reading twelve books in a summer. Though I attribute that to proctoring the ACT every Tuesday and Thursday and having four hours to myself. But still good deal. :)

I may have to quit The Host. It's just annoying. And I want to read Avalon High (also by Meg Cabot, do you see the obsession?) that I bought in Indianapolis last weekend. And I want to get that done by next week since I don't want to take it to Vienna.

Oh that's another thing. I'm looking for some good classics that would take me a little while to get through. I only want to take a few books but I want them to last me a good while. So far I have Atonement and Pride and Prejudice to take. But what is another good one to take?

Hope to get some responses :)