unrealistic dreams.

I was going to write this post yesterday since we girls in the office were discussing it then, but I decided to hold off until today because I had already posted something.

Jill, Elizabeth, Brittany, and I brought up the notion that romance as we see in the movies had seriously corrupted how we see romance in real life. With a few exceptions, no man in real life has ever come close to our expectations. While boys I've come across are sweet, they have no thought processes remotely close to what boys in the movies have. Or "have". Because you know some woman writer somewhere came up with this sticky sweet sap that men in movies throw up in girls' faces.

And it has gotten so bad that if a movie actually portrays a relationship like you would see in real life, I am so critical about it that I end up being mad at it. (see 500 Days of Summer. Apparently very realistic, but all I could see was that I was mad at Zoey Deschanel, however a very very sweet cute movie :D )

In the one serious relationship I've had I've expected so much of this crap, but it never came. I got disappointed, and then eventually realized that it never comes for anyone. No man goes out of his way to rent out a hot air balloon complete with a picnic, roses, and champagne, or goes to Paris to win back his beloved. In real life they wait for her to come back to him. A romantic night involves a semi-fast food dinner and a movie. And don't get me wrong, it's nice, because you aren't spending that much fun and are having just as much or more fun. But we girls have the idea that only a candle lit dinner in a fancy schmancy place is the only place you can get a bit of romance.

In romances, there is always a happy ending. The one you are forced to work with, the one that took you away from the obviously-way-too-wrong-for-you guy, or the one that notices you in your obscurity, is obviously the one for you, and is obviously who you are meant to be with. But life isn't like that. People are shallow and usually notice looks first, and only if you have to work with them on something or you have a boisterous personality do they notice the person behind the face.

We all imagine our love lives going differently. More perfect. It's all supposed to work out in the end with that perfect guy. We should kiss beautifully. We should be cute and coupley. We should never have red upper lips, or beard burn. Things don't have to turn into sex. You could in fact save that for marriage.

So while romantic movies fill our heads with warm fuzzies and hopes and dreams for the future of our potential or already in existance relationships, I feel like in this our dreams are dashed. When my last relationship was beginning I had those hopes that I would finally fufill all my childhood/tweenage/teenage dreams of romance. I would be blissfully happy with the first guy I loved. But it did not turn out that way. And don't get me wrong. I loved practically every moment of the relationship. I'm not sure romance even exists outside of novels and sappy love stories.

But I'm happy with it not. That's not true love- seeing what you can go out of the way and do for the person you are trying to please. True love is seeing each others faults and loving them anyway. True love is enjoying each others company, your heart swelling at the sight of them, and wanting only to be in their arms and no where else. Or at least this is what I have loved.

Maybe this blog is WAY too honest, but it's definitely how I'm growing to feel about romantic comedies (even though I think I will still always love them). I'm not bitter, just realistic, and I'm fine with this no romance thing... though it would be fabulous if that kinda stuff was real. :)